Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A Raw Confession

Ok, well, I feel God calling me today to share with you a page from my journal from a little while back.  Maybe He has one of you in mind that needs to hear His words to me in a time of sadness and seeking...

     "Why am I crying Lord?   I'm scared and I don't think I'm up for the role you have for me!  I just don't do well - I'm weak and unfaithful...
     ...Lord, You spoke directly to my last words written to You - "I don't think I'm up for the role" - You are giving me an invitation to come - Lord, how am I hindering your story?  Why am I stomping my foot and saying "NO, I am not worthy!"  What do You say to me?  John 11 - when you saw Mary weeping at your feet, you were moved in your spirit and troubled and YOU WEPT!  When you see ME weeping Lord, you are moved.  You care, you LOVE.  You see through me to my core and yet you call me - invite me to arise.  Song of Songs 8:14:  "Come away, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on the spice-laden mountains."  Your words to ME.  Thank you my Father, my Lover - Lover of me, my soul, my brokenness.  Song of Songs 7:10:  "I belong to my lover and His desire is for me!"  Song of Songs 8:6-7:  "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.  It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame.  Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.  If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned."
     So, Shelli, don't go looking elsewhere - wasting time, energy and money on "less wild lovers" - only come to ME, the Author and Creator And Finisher of LOVE and of you."

So there it is - I still read it and find it amazing.  Does God's word really say those things?  YES it does - Yes HE does.  He is pursuing us and wooing us and HE LOVES YOU.  Whatever you are struggling with today, believe HIM!